Getting into the Mind of your Toddler

Have you ever wondered what goes through the mind of your toddler? It sometimes might feel as if they inhabit a completely different planet from you. Well, in some respects, they do!

A toddler’s brain looks completely different from an adult brain and the way they see the world is vastly different from the way we do as adults. Having an understanding of why your toddler behaves in the way that they do will help you to see the world from their point of view and give you some ideas how to respond in a more effective way.

At birth, a baby is born with only about 25% of its brain developed. By the age of 3, millions of connections have been formed in the brain but there is still lots of development needed.

The easiest way to think about it is to imagine the brain as split into 3 parts – the reptilian brain, the mammalian brain and the thinking brain. A toddler hasn’t yet made the connections between all 3 areas and most of their behaviour is controlled by the reptilian brain (which is responsible for essential things like breathing, hunger and thirst) and the mammalian brain (which is responsible for emotions). The thinking brain lets us think rationally. Toddlers have not yet developed the connections to this part of their brain. This is why so much of their behaviour looks completely irrational to those of us who can use this thinking bit of our brains.

One consequence of this incomplete brain development is the complete egocentricity that we see in our toddlers. They are literally incapable of seeing the world from anyone else’s point of view except for their own. A toddler snatching a toy from another child has no ability at this age to understand why the other child might be upset. They also don’t understand why we are mad when they have emptied our expensive make up and face creams all over the floor to draw pictures with them!

Watching our toddlers have a tantrum can sometimes be frustrating. It might seem as if they are going crazy over something that is completely unimportant. If we stop though, and think about where their brains are in relation to ours, it is easy to see some important differences.

For a start, we have used all of our years experience and rationality to think about the situation and might come to the conclusion that not getting the sweet at that moment in time, isn’t actually that big of a deal.  For the toddler though, it is a completely different situation. Remember, they are mostly operating out of the bit of the brain that controls emotions and have no ability to rationalise the situation. So, not getting the sweet is a major catastrophe and intensely frustrating. They are overtaken by the big negative feelings that the frustration has left them with and don’t know how to handle them. So, they have a meltdown.

If they could communicate their feelings to us by talking, they might be saying “I feel tired, overwhelmed and scared. I don’t know how to handle this big feeling that I am having”. Can you imagine ignoring your child or telling them off if they had just told us this in words?

Luckily, there are some things that we can do to help our toddlers feel less frustrated or overwhelmed:

• By helping a toddler to feel more in control of what is going on around them, we can reduce the potential for frustration.
• Letting your child lead when you are playing together can be helpful, or giving them more control by letting them help to prepare the meals or do the shopping etc.
• A very effective way to help them to communicate what they need is by doing a signing class together. Baby and toddler signing is an incredible way of reducing frustration in you and your baby. Baby Signing has been shown to cut down toddler tantrums by half!  
• Finally, truly understanding your toddlers world can help you to respond with more empathy. Rather than shout or lose our temper, we might find it easier to try and figure out what our toddler is trying to communicate to us.

Come along to our new ToddlerCalm classes and workshops and our sing and sign classes for lots more ideas and tips when it comes to managing our toddler’s behaviour more effectively. ToddlerCalm classes can help with all aspects of toddler behaviour or just come along to our toddlerclam sleep workshop or toddlercalm tantrum workshop for some great tips!

As a special introductory offer, we are offering 20% off any ToddlerCalm workshop or course for this month only. Simply quote toddlercalm 20% offer when booking.

This month we are also launching our fabulous new Baby Signing with Happy Ears course.

This is a fantastically fun five week course where we all learn signs and sing along to a great CD of music created for us by local Edinburgh musician, Oliver Ridgewell from Happy Ears.

In the last two weeks of the course we  run through all the signs and the songs to live music.

Fabulous Orkadian fiddler, Sarah McFadyen, and singer-songwriter, Ruth Barrie bring the songs to life for us all in a wonderful jam session.

The course is also fully British Sign Language based (with around 300 signs!) so you are learning something useful for you as well as discovering a whole new way of communicating with your little one before they can talk.

Our next course starts on 29th May.  Please come and join in the fun!

Find out more or book onto these courses by contacing Onie or Sarah at KnotStressed.

Wellbeing for Conception and Pregnancy with Julie Dawid

As a midwife, Julie Dawid loves helping women take care of themselves. In the words of one of her favourite American midwifery gurus, antenatal care is something that women do between antenatal appointments.

What you eat, how you move, how you sit, how you think, how you breathe... all of these can have significant effects on your baby's development, how your body copes with pregnancy, birth and recovery, and how you labour and birth your baby. Birth doesn't have to be an ordeal - it can be empowering, beautiful and a gateway to a healthy, happy start for you and your little one.

Julie has spent many years learning from midwives around the world, all of whom help women to have vastly more positive birth experiences than we've come to accept as normal here in the UK. Did you know that there are places where over 90% of women have vaginal births, and nearly all of them feel immensely positive about their labours?

After much pondering on why things are so different here, she come to the conclusion that a lot of it is because women in the UK are asked to place their care, and that of their babies, in the hands of care 'professionals' whom they do not know well. Far too rarely do these professionals help women learn ways to care for themselves.

This one day Pregnancy Wellbeing Workshop points you in the direction of many ways you can start to ensure you and your baby continue to enjoy the best health, all the way into your postnatal period. With a strong focus on nutrition, as learned from holistic midwives, and incorporating other mind-body elements of pregnancy wellness, there is no other course like it.

Here's what one first time mum said after having her baby:

'Julie's workshop was really helpful at making me more aware of how to care for our baby even before he was born. I had been having a lot of morning sickness and being more aware of good nutrition during pregnancy helped me to make changes that reduced how often this was happening.

As a couple, we loved the idea of 'groaning cake' and I had a lot of fun experimenting with different recipes during maternity leave and during the last week before the birth we enjoyed the benefits of a 'false alarm' which meant two yummy prototypes were baked.

Attending the workshop and chatting with the other mums there meant I felt much better equipped for pregnancy, labour and now for breastfeeding our son. I certainly felt much healthier on implementing Julie's advice, and much less tired than some of my other pregnant friends. I would thoroughly recommend these workshops to anyone expecting a baby or hoping to become pregnant in the near future.'

For more information visit the Pregnancy Wellbeing Workshop page. To book onto the workshop please contact Julie at KnotStressed. 

Aromatherapy for Spring Cleanse

Despite the recent snow blizzards, there is definitely a shift coming - the clocks have changed and the evenings are getting lighter. Spring is on its way and we can’t wait!

Our bodies feel this shift in the seasons as it often goes through a natural detox or cleanse spurred by the (supposedly!) warmer weather and we can find our noses start to run or we experience the symptoms of a cold.

This can be a good time, therefore, to help this cleansing process along and to boost the immune system. One way to do this naturally is by using aromatherapy as a home remedy by choosing essential oils that have been found to promote detoxification and decongestion and support the body’s rejuvenation. It’s a bit like a de-cluttering spring clean for the body, refreshing it after the long winter months.

Aromatherapy is the use of essential oils made from pure plant extracts that exert a variety of beneficial properties on the body. Herbs, plants and therefore essential oils have been used as home remedies and in massage throughout the world for centuries.

Here’s some tips for incorporating essential oils into your world this spring:

Vaporiser or Oil Burner - add 3-6 drops of chosen oils to the burner to fill your home with a lovely fragrance while the oils’ properties are released. You can also do this by putting the oils in a glass container and placing it on a warm radiator.

Luxurious Baths – before essential oils can come into contact with the skin they should be dissolved in a base oil or in full fat milk. Base oils are great for the skin and you can use olive oil, almond oil or sunflower oil with a maximum 6 drops of essential oils (or add them to a glass of milk).

Foot Soak – Peppermint and Tea Tree oils are anti-bacterial and anti-fungal oils so you can use these oils to relieve tired or unhappy feet as you would for a bath. Steam Inhalation – this is a great method for treating colds, sore throats and sinus problems. Place a maximum of 3 drops of essential oil into the a bowl of hot water and placing a towel over your head, lean over the bowl and inhale closing your eyes.

Handy Relief – If on the move or when travelling you could place 2 drops of oil, such as Eucalyptus or Tea Tree, onto a tissue and breath in.

Nature’s medicine chest is vast and the combinations endless. Some of our favourites include:

• Lavender, which we recommend you have in your bag on at home for a natural ‘first aid’ oil or quick relief on the move. This oil has been proven to stimulate the immune system and increase white blood cell production and can be extremely helpful for skin burns, sleep problems and pain relief.
• Grapefruit, Lemon and Mandarin are excellent cleansing, uplifting and immune boosting oils.
• Roman Chamomile is soothing, has anti-inflammatory properties and can be useful for skin conditions. For tired hands or feet you can always make a quick soak using Chamomile tea.

During an Aromatherapy Massage treatment, your therapist will make up an individual blend of oils which will have been selected based on what might be most appropriate for you and most effective in promoting your health and wellbeing following a consultation.

Massage not only helps aid relaxation and the release of muscle tension but as the essential oils have their own beneficial effects, by aiding their absorption into the bloodstream, the massage can enhance cell renewal, improve circulation and encourage detoxification. By encouraging blood and lymph circulation, the body is given a boost in the clearing of waste products and toxins which in turn aids the process of cellular renewal.

So, make the most of this month's special offer. Allow Jen Gold or Frances to magic you up your very own blissful massage blend and bring you the joys of your very own spring cleanse.

£15 off Aromatherapy Massage during April with Jen Gold or Frances. Book now!

RSI Part 3: Prevention and Damage Limitation

Over the past month I have been looking at RSI, what it is and what can be done about it in terms of treatments. In this final part, I am looking at how to prevent it in the first place, or if its too late, how to avoid it getting worse or reoccurring.

The main thing is to be aware of your body, and any little niggly pains that you get regularly. This can be the sign of a problem building up, and as with most things, prevention is key. My job is to help people feel like the lady in the picture, happy and pain free, able to throw their arms back with joy!

The main points to think about are –

• Look at your desk set up. Employers should offer workstation assessments, but it helps if the individual knows what they should be doing too. See herefor some good tips and videos.

• Mouse and keyboards – its not just in how you sit, the mouse position and keyboard are also important. The way the standard set up forces us to hold our arms out to use the mouse is one of the key causes of RSI. These days there are various options for mice. Personally I use a ‘RollerMouse’ which I have recommended to several clients. It takes a bit of getting used to and is not the cheapest option, but I tried roller balls and other variations, and they didn’t help the RSI symptoms, whereas the RollerMouse is brilliant. A very nice Occupational Health lady told me about it, advising me to avoid the cheaper alternatives as this was the thing everyone should have. Having used it now for 8 years, I tend to agree with her.

• Take breaks – yes I know you’ve heard it before, but it really is important, and that document or whatever can wait 5 minutes. Plus you will be fresher after a short break. Ideally take 5 mins away from your desk in every hour. Go to the loo, stretch, get some water. If you need reminders to take a break, then set your phone to beep every hour, or there are several free download timers for PC and Macs. I use TimeOut (Mac) which is great and can be set to various breaks including 15 second ‘microbreaks’ which are surprisingly effective.

• Balancing PC use – the Institute of Physios say that 2/3 office workers go home and spend a further 2+ hours on a computer, games console or tablet at home. This obviously adds to the potential strain on your overworked muscles. Look for ways to either reduce your use, or make sure you again take breaks and do the stretches.

• Other, hand intensive hobbies count as well. Whether it is playing an instrument, knitting or other crafts,  these all have their own risks especially when done after a day of PC use. This can be difficult as this is your relaxation, so again it’s about balance. I play the guitar, not ideal for a massage therapist, and I can easily find I’ve been playing for 2 or more hours without a break, which is not good. I also have to be strict and not play after a full day of clients.

One of the main ways to avoid the problem is to stretch throughout the day. There are several websites with stretches and also some good books, such as “Sitting on the Job”

I have also created a PDF of basic stretches which you can download here

Basically, the best advice I have been given is DON’T WAIT until you are in pain, stressing about your ability to do you job or continue normal functions. Instead be proactive about self-care and prevention using the suggestions above. And, of course, a regular massage can help keep your shoulders, neck and arms problem free, and also help you become more aware of your body, and your posture so that you catch yourself slumping, or the tightness starting, instead of once it has taken hold. Prevention is definitely better than the cure!

Jen Syme specialises in Remedial & Sports work to help people with muscular pains and stress related problems.

Stress and Nutrition

What has stress and nutrition got to do with each other? Quite a lot actually and the link can run either way between them.

On one side of the coin physical stress can result from a poor diet as nutritional deficiencies can affect the body by impairing our immune system, energy, hormones and mood. On the other side of the coin when we’re under stress we often make poor food choices through a lack of motivation, time or energy.

Certain foods and drinks can create stress within our body as they are termed nutrient-robbing foods – this basically means that the body uses nutrients to counter balance the effect of the foods rather than the foods providing the body with nutrients. Examples of nutrient-robbers include sugar, alcohol and caffeine.

Equally, our diets can be badly affected in times of stress as when we are feeling under pressure, whether it be at work or home, we often crave foods high in sugar and fat content to feel better or to energise ourselves – maybe some of you will recognise that feeling of the 4pm chocolate bar fix because it’s been a tough day and you deserve it? While this is fine occasionally, a habitual pattern can emerge of craving high sugar and fat foods throughout the day as our energy and mood levels feel like they are running on empty.

A nutrient rich diet is essential in times of stress as we need a range of nutrients to increase our resistance to stress and also nutrients will be used up by our bodies much quicker when we are stressed than normal.

Eating a well balanced diet of fruit, vegetables, proteins and wholegrains is a good starting place to reducing nutritional stress in the body. Supporting the adrenal glands which are our bodies stress management system is also beneficial so include foods rich in the key stress busting nutrients magnesium, vitamin C and vitamin B.

Come along to my FREE talk on Saturday 9th march at 10-10.30 whereI’ll be discussing why we crave high sugar and fat foods when we are stressed and what foods we should be including to support our body.

Please contact me, Kerry Rae, to book in for the free talk, or to book an appointment for an individualised plan.